The Wedding Party

Ed (Officiant)

Ed is the officiant, which is to say, a fervent believer and man of the cloth. He and Dina met when Dina came to work for him in her actuarial consulting firm. Now they model the health of populations together, and decide when people will die. It’s all very scientific (and scary). Kris and Dina picked Ed to marry them because he fit all their criteria for a good officiant: 1) He’s married; 2) He’s older than both Dina and Kris, 3) He’s known them through the entire relationship, 4) He’s Chinese-Canadian.

Some facts:

• Ed prefers pork chops for dessert
• Ed was in his twenties before he knew how cabbage grew
• Ed owns a lot of stuffed pigs (fewer now that he’s married)
• Ed cannot sleep with the sheets tucked in
• Ed will name anything, including plants, stuffed animals and Thanksgiving turkeys
• Ed’s dream in life is to pee in all 50 states

Becky (Maiden of Honor)

Becky is Dina’s best friend, Ed’s wife, and a bang-up graphic designer. Dina met Becky after working for Ed, and deciding she liked his girlfriend more than she liked him. We very much hope Beck will either 1) prepare Runza burgers for the wedding, or 2) prepare Kool-Aid for the wedding. (Did you know that Kool-Aid was invented in Hastings, Nebraska, in 1927. Thanks Wikipedia!)

Some facts:

• Becky grew up on a farm in Nebraska
• Becky is unusually proud of her freckles
• Becky sleeps with a stuffed lion named Leon (or sometimes a bear, Edward)
• Becky runs marathons
• When Becky was growing up she wanted to be a brain surgeon – or an artist.
• Becky likes singing songs that she doesn’t know the words to
• Becky enjoys eating dim sum – especially chicken feet

Brent (Best Man)

Brent is Kris’ brother, and this we know: his apartment is cuter then Kris’; he has better taste in music than Kris; he’s better at Jeopardy than Kris, and small puppies like him more than they do Kris. So when we say “best man” we mean it.

Ashley (Bridesmaid)

Ashley one of three Canadians in the wedding party (what, eh?), but the only Newfie. Ashley is also one of 2.5 actuaries in the wedding party (3.5 if you count Dina), and one of four women. If we were to model Ashely, we’d say she’ll live until she’s 87.4 years old. Science!

• Ashley is a Newfie (3 people suggested this fact to her, why it’s funny/weird she doesn’t know :p).
• Ahsley loves the smell of paper.
• Ashely proudly owns “The Mighty Ducks” movie trilogy.
• Ashely no longer has her appendix.
• Ashely would love to go skydiving one day, but knows she doesn’t have the guts to ever do it.

Joey (Groomsman)

Joey is one of Kris’ oldest (he’s OLD) and closest friends. Joey and Kris met way back in ’94 in the dorms: neither could stop crying, and in that their friendship blossomed. Today their friendship mostly consists of dirty jokes and Wii bowling. In some ways, nothing has changed.

Some facts:

• Joey buys M&M trail mix only to eat the M&M’s.
• Joey is fascinated by all the colors on the soda and cereal aisles.
• Joey gets satisfaction from wandering into books stores and judging books by their covers.
• Joey seems to stalk the cast member playing Peter Pan every time he goes to Disneyland.
• Joey’s favorite quote: “We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams.”

Rachel (Bridesmaid)

Rachel is a close friend of both Dina and Kris. Kris actually introduced Rachel to Dina after meeting Rachel in grad school. Now they collude against him, and he feels the odd man out.

Some facts:

• Rachel’s favorite drink is a Gibson
• Rachel’s favorite childhood movie is Flight of the Navigator
• Rachel’s favorite word is InfoCamp
• Rachel has lived in Provo, Utah; Durham, N.C; Lynden, WA; Butte, MT, Federal Way, WA; Belingham, WA; Reading, UK; Tacoma, WA; Paris, FR; Columbia, SC; and Seattle, WA. She likes Seattle best of those places.
• Rachel hopes to someday have her own consulting firm and rule the world. At the same time.

Ben (Grooomsman)

Ben once whipped Kris with a licorice rope, and Kris has never let this fact rest. Some day he will get his revenge, and it will be sweet – like a candy necklace. Ben is Kris’ oldest friends. They first met in the 9th grade. Kris finally accepted Ben as an equal in the 10th grade.

Sarah (Bridesmaid)

Sarah is a joyous, wonderful, and dare we say it, talkative friend, who brings a bit of swagger to each and every social outing. Kris and Dina love Sarah: she plies them with wine and food (well, Chris usually cooks!), and is always willing to engage Kris in a heated debate about the merits of some American Idol contestant. (Kris needs to learn to quit taking on lawyers.)

• Sarah thinks Dirty Dancing is the best movie ever made.
• Most of Sarah’s favorite foods come from beans.
• Not much is more exciting to Sarah than new soap day.
• Sarah wishes she could be a cat.
• Sarah was born out of wedlock.

Thom (Groomsman)

Thom married Kris’ sister, Janet, and Kris is still not sure he’s OK with this. Thom made it into wedding party as a test: to see if this man the mettle to hang for realz. Just kidding: Thom bought his way on.