Final Details, And All That

We’re down to it. Just six days left, and then we get married. Here are some more things we’ve done and learned:

1. Spreadsheets are the key to organizing a wedding. Without going overboard with PM software, they let you breakdown tasks, assign responsibilities, organize information, and present a clear snapshot of to-do lists and day-of assignments. We have a HUGE Google Docs spreadsheet that has pretty much served as central command for this whole affair.We have tabs for budget, guests, timeline, tasks, vendors, rehearsal dinner, honeymoon details, etc. I can access this from anywhere – even my IPhone. I don’t know how people did this stuff before computers.
2. More details=more complexity. But its not a linear relationship… rather, every task has a ripple effect that needs to be thought through and accounted for. For example, adding one more person is not just a matter of sending an email – it also means updating numbers with the caterer (and sometimes the cake people, the venue, and the bartender), rejiggering the seating chart, adding a table card, and updating your thank-you lists and other spreadsheets. Decide to get chair covers last minute? How much will it cost? Who will pick the covers up? Who will put them on the chairs? Who will take them off and return them?
3. You always spend more than you think you’ll spend. When you set your initial budget, did you think about sugar cubes for coffee? How about table cards for place settings? The bartender’s gratuity? Ribbon for the cake? Mints? Tax? These things are hard to anticipate. It seems an extra 15% on top of whatever your budget is set at is sufficient.
4. A long timeline is the key to managing stress. Maybe you can’t eliminate stress, but planning early and spacing tasks out over a long period can really help from running yourself ragged last minute. We spaced the big tasks – venue, caterer, photographer, invites, ceremony, favors, flowers – out over many months. And we started with the small tasks – wedding party gifts, seating charts, website updates, placecards, keg reservation, candles, etc – a few months out. Now, with six days left, there’s still stuff to do, but its not nearly as bad as it could be. And we’re the better for it.
5. You can consider other peoples’ feelings only so much. This may sound harsh, but at some point you can no longer bend over backward for that one friend who keeps changing his mind, or your crazy uncle who insists on having a say as to what type of beer you order. In the end, this is your wedding. Anyone who has been through this knows how difficult most decisions are. And in the end, you can’t invite everyone you know, you can’t act on every whim you have, and you can’t please everyone who requires pleasing. It’s your wedding. Do with it what you want.
6. Many wedding expenses just aren’t necessary. $3000 for a DJ who will play music for all of three hours? Probably not necessary. Six extra pairs of socks because “groomsmen are dudes, and they might forget to pack socks.” Probably not necessary. $450 for ivory bonded A2 paper on which will be printed the program for your 15 minute ceremony? Probably not necessary. Commemorative silver-plated cake cutting knife? Yeah, you get it.
7. Photography is the place to spend the cash. Because in the end, the smiles and people faces during a specific moment in time is pretty much all you’ll be able to capture.

That’s probably it for now. I’m sure we’ll have more insights post-wedding, post-honeymoon, when the dust has settled. I have more details to enter, so I’m going to do that. Fun times!